


Internal Affairs Report 1387

by etothepii



Category: Nolanverse - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-19
Updated: 2008-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:32:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etothepii/pseuds/etothepii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things got out of hand in the interrogation room. Outsider POV. Contains knifeplay, noncon, and voyeurism.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Internal Affairs Report 1387

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Interrogation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/142436) by [etothepii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/etothepii/pseuds/etothepii). 



> Written for the Batman Kink Meme. Contains knifeplay, noncon, and voyeurism.

My name is Josh Azeveda, and I’m a cop, part of Gotham City PD. My badge number is, well, it’s in the records. I never bothered to memorize it, but that doesn’t make me a _bad_ cop. I, I’m not stupid. I’m not evil, or vicious, or any of that bullshit.

It was just a situation that got out of control, and sure, I’m not blameless, but I wasn’t the only one there. Hell, it was near the end of my shift, and I was already staying overtime to keep an eye on the situation.

Whose idea was it to seriously let the Batman into the interrogation room to work on the Joker, anyways? Well, whoever it was, it’s _their_ fault what happened that night. I was just on security duty, watching the monitors, hanging out in the observation deck (a one-way mirror that covered part of the wall; made the tiny room look a little bigger from the inside) with a coffee to make sure things didn’t get out of hand. I, uh, guess they got out of hand.

Anyways, that night.

The Batman came in, said Gordon summoned him and offered him temporary immunity if he’d interrogate the Joker for us. We were still trying to apprehend Batman, of course, but I guess Gordon decided to go after the worst of two evils for now. We’d had the Joker for two days by then, and whatever he had planned, he was keeping mum about it.

The higher-ups were starting to get anxious.

And him, _he’d_ just keep _laughing_ , and that laugh grated on me every time I heard it, made me want to hit things. It’s a terrible laugh, like he’s peeled you away layer by layer and is getting ready to _burn_ you.

So we finally saidokay _,_ and opened the door to let him in. We uncuffed the Joker, to make it more fair, or maybe to make our legal department happy. In retrospect, we probably shouldn’t have, but we’d thought he was unarmed. I mean, we pulled more than a dozen knives off of him, how many more could he have, right?

We all knew what Batman was going to do. We’d all seen the _other_ interrogation video, passed from hand to hand during patrols, or at shift changes, or at the bar when we were off-duty. Can’t say any of us were too eager to grapple with the Batman after _that_. Wilkins was the one to uncuff the Joker, and the Joker just _smirked_. Didn’t even rub his wrists, or stretch his arms apart, or any of the other things normal people do after they’re uncuffed.

It started off normal enough at first. Normal for the Batman, anyways. He hit, and the Joker laughed. He’d hit him again, and the Joker would laugh again, like it was all this big game they were playing. But after a while, the Joker started to fight back. Well, not _started_ , really. He more _exploded_. One minute he was laughing and egging him on, the next he had a knife and they looked like they were trying to kill each other.

These guys were _good_. They moved fast, like snakes, and the explosion at the other station was still fresh in our memories (The Joker was never getting another phone call again). None of us (and by then, I’d called over Hartley and Cohen, to watch with me for a few minutes) were too eager to get in there and break it up.

Besides, Batman was a killer; he’d killed Dent, and four others. It didn’t seem like much of a loss to let them fight it out, if you know what I mean. We were expecting Batman to win, but if he got tired out by the Joker, we’d have a decent change of apprehending him before he left, and then we could let the Commissioner and the Mayor and whoever sort out what to do with him after that.

I’ll tell you, it was a damn surprise for all three of us when the fight ended with the Joker cackling like a loon, knife between Batman’s teeth.

That was when I turned off the speakers into the interrogation room. They were still recording, of course, so it’s in the video if you don’t mute it, but it’s not like I’d planned to give Batman orders, and I _really_ couldn’t stand the Joker’s laugh. And the stuff he said, some of it’s really… It’s the kind of stuff you say to a man if you’re trying to start a fight, y’know? I didn’t need to hear that shit.

For a minute, I thought the Joker was going to do that _thing_ he does, with the knife. It’s called a Chelsea grin, slicing open the cheeks so it makes you look like you’re always smiling. That’s where his scars came from.

The right thing to do would probably have been to go in, guns blazing, hoping we could get the Joker to back down. But when had the Joker _ever_ backed down? Besides, I guess we were, just a little bit, hoping he’d just _do_ it, you know? Batman’s a strong guy, it wouldn’t hurt him much or anything, before he got the knife back and beat down the Joker.

Mostly we just wanted to know who he really was. It’d be impossible to hide an injury like that, especially if it was deep enough to scar, and it’d be a real coup if we managed to get the Joker _and_ Batman, all in the same week, you know?

We _did_ try to get him out when he jammed the door, all three of us. But it’s something like ten inches of reinforced steel, not the sort of thing that’s easy to jerk around. Before this Batman and Joker shtick, no one’d ever tried to lock themselves _in_ before. I mean, I _guess_ we could have tried more, but the doors are damn expensive, and aside from a blowtorch, nothing was going to open it from our end.

No one was screaming bloody murder, from what we could tell, so after a few minutes, we realized how pointless our efforts were and, well… went back to our jobs. We were still on the clock, you know? The world doesn’t stop just because one freak gets the jump on another freak.

When I got back to the observation deck, I could have sworn I’d only been gone for a couple minutes, but somehow the situation in the interrogation room had gone from “Batman and Joker fighting” to “Batman tied up while the Joker molests him”. Seriously, talk about your out-of-control situations, eh?

And that’s even without mentioning the fact that most of Batman’s armor was in itty bitty pieces all over the floor, kicked into corners and against the walls.

It was kind of fascinating. Now, I’m not gay or anything, really. I like women and tits and all that just fine. But at the same time… Who _hasn’t_ fantasized about taking the Batman down a peg or two? Any officer who says they’ve never daydreamed about it is a fucking liar.

So I just sat there and, well. Watched. I was pretty torn. One part of me was saying, _This is wrong. You need to stop this._ But the other part was saying, equally loudly, _You’re not equipped to stop them. Just enjoy it_.

Because under all the armor, all the speculation, all the rumors that happened in a place like this when we were beat by a man like _him_ … Batman was _built_. He had the sort of body regular guys would kill for. But mostly, he looked _normal_. It was weird.

I’d never really believed that he was really human, really someone I could pass on the street one day and not even notice. I’m not one of those crazies who think he’s a robot, either, but I didn’t think he’d be _normal_. But he was, and after a while, I could see that he was just a little bit _bent_ , too, you know? Because the Joker was _doing_ things to him, and even without the sound on, I could tell that Batman was writhing and practically _begging_ for more.

A lot of men would pay a lot of money to hear the Batman beg, even like this.

I guess I just sort of stopped thinking about it, after that. I know I was rubbing myself a little, over my work pants. I had, _have_ , a thing for bondage, and the Joker had tied Batman up with something (we found out later it was his tie—next time, if we catch him another time, we’re taking that away too) and Batman was just writhing and struggling and aside for the being-a-guy thing, it was seriously the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my life.

When the Joker fucked him, a part of me _knew_ the Joker knew I was watching. Not just because he’d turn and look at me sometimes, but because of the _angles_. Everything he did faced the camera, but all of his looks were at the glass. It’d make one hell of a porno.

While they were doing it, I remember feeling really on edge. When I watched the video a second time, I realized why: the Joker had put the knife down right after he stripped Batman, but he kept _touching_ it, reaching for it. I don’t think he realized it, but every minute or two, he’d start to move for the knife—without looking at it, or stopping what he was doing. Like what he was doing was good, but doing it all with a knife would be _better_.

We have words for people like that. They’re not nice words. __

But soon Batman came, and I could tell when the Joker came too, because he just _froze_ for a few seconds, and a man like the Joker isn’t the sort of person who stays still very often. Even when he’s physically still, he kind of gives off _energy_ , like he’s two seconds from jumping up and going for your throat, and any hints otherwise are just a trick, to get you close enough to the knife.

They talked after that—the boys say it’s not loud enough to hear exactly what’s being said, and no one really believes they’re working together so who cares?

My brain started working again about when the Joker kicked the chair out of the door’s way and it could be opened again. I was hard, but I hadn’t made a mess of myself (even _that_ part of me realized I was still on the clock), so I was able to collect the others. We picked some more guns up, just in case—really armed ourselves to the teeth, since we couldn’t afford to have the Joker out on the streets doing god knows what to our city.

Uh, and then Hartley and I took the Joker and put him in a holding cell. He didn’t put up any struggles. When we got back, Batman was dressed and gone, and Cohen was talking to someone on the phone about sending a bomb squad over to City Hall right away, while all the civilians were gone for the night.

I never… I never told them what I’d seen, exactly, but they both wanted to know what happened, so I (even my overtime shift had ended by then) called it a night and told them to look at the security footage. They did, and then someone else wanted to know what happened (it’s hard to keep secrets from your partner, after all), and that led to someone _else_ wanting to know, and eventually somebody had the bright idea of copying the security footage to a spare tape and just… letting anyone who wanted to see it, see it.

Turns out everyone wanted to see the Batman taken down a notch, no matter who was doing the taking down.

Eventually, Commissioner Gordon got word of what happened—not that we were trying to hide it from him or anything, of course. It just never came up. Not something you’d talk about with your boss, you know? He was furious. He made us destroy the tapes and promise never to speak of it again, or else it’d be our job.

But, uh, just between you and me, Hendrickson’s got the current copy, if you want to borrow it.  



End file.
